what's worse: pain or emptiness? pain implies movement...

chopin: a soft breeze, tenderness underlying the profundity.

again, i'm not reading, can't write and feel totally useless. things happen around me, not with me. with one exception:-) i lose things with a speed i seem to have developed all my life for this particular moment of losing:-) last friday lost my purse with arm social card and american social security number. and a wonderful photo i'll never have again: mom, dad and me when i'm several month old... yesteday lost the umbrella. wonder what's today? i shouldn't be keeping things on me for a while:-)

i feel torn re this armenian blog. i liked it so much and can't bring myself to writing there sincerely again. whatever i write sounds so fake:-( and what i want to really write about is not what i want the public to read.

i want some light in my life...