i've noticed that fridays don't like me though i love them so much: just like my love-life:-) i've got nothing to write about, but i'm into writing these couple of days and i write whenever i get a minute and wherever i get a chance. i guess this is a subconscious (or perhaps conscious) attempt to subdue the desire to open up my blue note-book again. i guess with aram i made the last poetic pirrоuette. sometimes i'm tempted to ask mher of his opinion. maybe i should???

we're having one of these hot-tea-in-the-bed-and-a-good-movie-on-tv days. i wish i could go out for a walk with smb, but all the people i would like to walk with are not available.

anyway, i've got to get going. it's 6:45 only but so dark outside. perhaps tomorrow i'll have wiser things to write.

noteworthy things i did today

1. woke up late and spent only 20 minutes getting ready:-)

2. read Raffi's blog... hmmm, i think this guy who likes spending his time in bed with toshig is of the stuff i like so much. would love to talk to him, though my guess is he's not much of a talker (just look at his blog:-)) where are the men we're ready to die for? (oh, definitely not in those UGLY yellow hummers owing yerevan streets...) just a rhetorical question after reading the blog...and of course, can't stop remembering weininger: a true female does not have genuine interests. she is interested in smth in which the man she loves or would like to be loved by is interested in. oh, we, poor women with no interest but our sensuality:-)

3. had a DELICIOUS lunch

4. listened to a new trey anastasio track (sounds a lot like the farmhouse). was not bad. i guess if i were in the right mood would have actually enjoyed it a lot:-)

5. was quite shocked with the description of hambartsum festivities:-) i knew somewhere we should have had a 'corporal' wisdom...yea, i agree, we're of the 'spiritual' vogeghen stuff, but (was it in one of these upanishads): life is our body... isn't it high time we learn how to live????

6. felt really cheesy when lusine found me cute:-))) i can be cute (oh, charles!), but i guess i'm not today:-) i become cute when i'm in love, and i'm not now.

7. i don't like 6, so i've got to make up the 7th noteworthy thing:-) here we go: i was thinking why this playfulness all of a sudden? clue: don't drink good old vernashen at work:-))))))))

marshutka ride

...i tell you it's smth:-) it may take creativity size of a bean to come up with a contemporary bestseller taking a ride on a marshutka:-))))))) about 20 people squeezed in a tiny mini-bus meant for 10 people. all-so-pseudo-touch-me-not armenian girls enjoying the forced proximity of a male thigh, which would be hard to guess were you not experienced in those rides; phony yuppies showcasing the last models of mobiles with a casual 'hey-see-what-i've-got' expression on their faces and conversations lasting no longer than ape, marshutki mej em; tatiks smelling of perfume made when brejnev was young (oh, save me from the luck of having to take a seat next to one of them:-)))))) and wearing a purple lipstick on the lips that are actually a remote hint of a lip rather than one; detached intellectuals pondering their intellectual thoughts soaring far above the triviality of the lives of all those next to them; couples shocking the youth-deprived tatiks and kids, the only sunlit creatures in the terribly stuffy trunk of a metal cube.

i've got to run to my french lesson, but ...i love marshutkas:-)

flamenco, weininger and me

i've always felt challenged to dress my most sacred, feared, profound and intensely experienced thoughts and feelings into words. this is just another attempt in the short series, and i'm almost sure it's gonna sound lame, but i thought i'd give it a try anyway.

friday evening we were enjoying flamenco in a jewish performance. were it not for the soloist, i could have labelled it as mediocre. but this woman turned my insights out in the form of couple of droplets of stealing tears:-) she seemed to echo what i had read a week before in "sex and character": woman is sexual; man is ALSO sexual.

i thought her flamenco revealed why i'm so passionate about dancing; why dancing is where we can find more 'genial' women than men and why i find weininger right.

it was a hard night: it's not always easy to find out things about yourself; and a wonderful night: once again art proved to be the source of wonder called holism:-)