i'm so overwhelmed with emotions, controversies, ideas, doubts, and what not that my body seems to crash...i've been staring aimlessly at the computer for about two hours and can't get anything done. and mind it, i'm not thinking a concrete thought, i'm swirling in a vast vagueness that has invaded my brains and skull (i seem to feel its tangible presence in my head...)

what is it that makes you put aside all your life till that point and venture into the unknown? sometimes i just crave for that fanatic adherence to principles and faith. i need faith not to crash under this burden. at the same time it's so pleasant to feel it crash you, i just wish to give away myself for at least a second, i'm so tired of being so self-conscious, so aware of my and other selves that surround me. but i can't forget things easily...