it rains non-stop. started last evening. the city has taken on the colors that have painted my feelings and thoughts... i've never felt so strongly about yan/yin...

anyway, i'm here to recount my dream (it's hilarious. seems i'm wrapping up all my relationships with recounting a dream:-))))) since i've been back, i've wanted to see him in my dream. no luck, except a month ago when i saw myself making love to a guy i did not know. suddenly i looked up and saw that his face had changed. i'ts a. could never figure out this one (unlike the aram dream:-))

last night i somehow came to meet a chinese girl. quite a nice, a bit plump girl wearing a grey tweed coat (i could paint her, she was so real...). it's a winter day, chilly, but there's no snow. it's nighttime, since we're standing somewhere on the hill (for some reason even in my dream i compare it with the fremont hill we climbed with a) and i'm telling her were it a daytime, i'd show her a's building where she's going to stay (i could smell the humidity of the day we had all the windows covered with the mist from the long shower). we could see the lake and a bright ribbon of glittering apartment lights. while chatting we've come to learn that we've both been his women. she claims to be the last one and i don't tell her that couple of days ago he made love to me... she desperately wants me to confirm what she's just said. i don't tell her anything and she gets more lively and self-confident. she's been invited to stay with him and she's aware of the other women, but she is certain she's the last one, and the loved one...

guess that's all:-) at least this is all i remember now...

today gave up on the armenian blog... for how long? i don't really have a clue...something is terribly wrong with me and i can't do anything about it. i look scary:-) something vital has been shattered inside and i no longer can stand on my feet...